I’ve always thought that the world is mad, but I somehow always managed to maintain my own personal bubble and think of the bright side of things, no matter what was going on in the world. Naïve and silly, I know. Think of it as a defence mechanism, as an act of defiance against all the crazy sh*t that is going on, never losing that tiny beam of hope in an infinite pile of darkness.
Oscillating between being a realist and being hopelessly romantic *and by that, I mean actually being hopeful about the future (?), whatever that means- is contradictory, but possible. Add some moody intermissions in it and you’re good to go.
But something changed in me a while ago; I feel as if that tiny beam of hope keeps getting smaller and smaller, slowly being devoured by that giant pile of darkness.
I realised that the country I live in is way more disgusting and corrupted than I thought it was. So much, that it made me utterly and infinitely hopeless. It also made me question the reason I still live here.
The illusion that we so badly want to believe is that of a sunny and carefree country whose people are welcoming and easy-going. While this is not a lie as such, we often fail to ignore the deeper issues that are concealed within these happy layers. The complete ignorance of public authorities to the lives of vulnerable, foreign people, especially women, who live in the country but are practically invisible. The utter disregard of the environment and the little of the gorgeous, natural life that we are left in the name of money and power. The church, which dictates much of what is going on in the country right now, as it resembles a business and a governmental body. The popular, local media that moulds people’s opinions and views, often foregrounding racist and sexist propaganda.
This was not meant to be a political rant, but it is political.
So I ask myself:
When hope is nearly gone, and you don’t feel like belonging in the country you live in, how do you keep going? How do you rise up to the infinite challenges that you and other people face, how do you help those who are in need, how do you wipe off corruption, hatred, hypocrisy?
How do you bring back hope from the darkness?
a.